I’m not much of a fiction¹ reader, though I’ve spent enough time around them² -- and read enough non-fiction books by people who reference it -- that I’ve picked up/cataloged a “shocking-even-to-me” amount of literary quotes (as well as their most common and controversial interpretations) and stored them in my head for future use. 

And the one I think of most when watching the cavalcade of obscure sports I do each day is this one:

“Все счастливые семьи похожи друг на друга, каждая несчастливая семья несчастлива по-своему.”

Oh, sorry, this one:

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

And it’s something that has felt especially true after watching the last week or so of competition in a number of different sports all over the world, being played at their and... less high... levels. 

The basic idea is, at least partially, a convenient fiction³ posited by Tolstoy when it comes to family⁴. Especially in a modern world freed from societal norms that would have been unimaginable to turn away from when he first wrote that. However, the structure of it from a logical standpoint -- that there are comparatively few sets of pathways to “success”/”happiness”⁵, while “failure” can come through almost infinite permutations of circumstance -- has actually become a guiding light in the world of systemic analysis and statistics.

Known as the “Anna Karenina” principle, that undergirding concept has been suggested as a way to explain things like why domestication of animals has only been narrowly successful (at least relative to the amount of animals available/who would be useful for domestication) despite humanity’s best efforts. As can be observed with phenomena like carcinization in crustaceans, the ways by which things move towards optimization/the concept of perfection⁶ is driven by the necessities created through their context. This can, and often does, create in the end product an observable, if not constitutional, sameness. 

Which is to say: there’s a good reason why sometimes shit looks the same even if it’s made of different stuff.⁷

Entertainment (especially commercial entertainment) is essentially a perpetual iterative experiment in this, done at immense scale. And while this is true for almost any form of entertainment, sports in particular organically creates a space in which this becomes something like a quantifiable (or at least meaningfully measurable) truth. It’s also why every major sports league is a “copycat league” in one form or another, because copying what’s worked elsewhere, especially when jobs and future earnings are on the line, is the best way to minimize the former and maximize the latter. 

This doesn’t have to, and often won’t, force a visual sameness on a sport -- though, as is the case in the modern NBA, it certainly can -- but it usually does manifest itself in similar, or at least bundled/clustered bands of results. It’s also something that often happens most noticeably at the highest levels, as the stakes and scrutiny involved in them require a more strict adherence to what works and significantly increase aversion to what doesn’t. 

It’s not necessarily even the institutions like teams and leagues that create this kind of sameness for the sports, however, but the players themselves. What often makes a player great -- as opposed to being a player who is able to have great moments --  is not simply the spectacularness of their highest level, but the height of their lowest levels and, even with that, their ability to often reach towards the top of that range instead of slipping to the bottom. Consistency is largely what sets apart the wheat from the chaff and seeing this is often what we mean when we say that someone makes something “look easy”.

The mechanics involved in greatness are both easily observable and difficult to articulate. For the most part, “we just know it when we see it”. But we also begin to understand it better once we are able to see the absence of it, especially when that greatness isn’t replaced by garbage but mediocrity. 

Watching, for instance, last weekend’s shellacking of the Scottish women’s rugby team by England 84-7⁸ in the second week of the Women’s Six Nations round robin tournament did a little bit to make the Roses’ great rugby look better, but mostly just made it clear the level to which the Scottish side was out matched. A similar thing can happen when a team -- like, say, my beloved Rajasthan Royals -- go from juggernaut to joke over the course of a season or series. 

The heights of their earlier performances makes their bottom dropping out in the meat of the season worse, both in terms of bringing into question the legitimacy of previous play and how their current form even paler in comparison to what they once were. It’s only when a team like that shows itself to be decent but not spectacular that you can truly enjoy just how fleeting greatness truly is. 

Watching a T20 match in the Indian Premier League is obviously going to feature “better” performances than Major League Cricket will, but watching a thousand IPL matches may not make you appreciate how good the players in that league are in the way just one MLC match can.

Seeing people, especially professional players, try their hardest and succeed, but in ways that are an obvious and observable step below what you’ve seen in other places⁹ is humbling in the way it makes you realize how good the superhumans at the highest levels are. But it is also aspirational in the ways it makes you realize how hard these games can be even to those who have spent their lives and time on earth dedicated to getting better at it.  

It’s an observation that I’ve had before and one happened again this morning, as I was watching the USA Women’s Cricket team play their Ni-Vanuatu counterpart, shocked by the number of “extras” -- meaning balls delivered “illegally” --  that Vanuatu had thrown (21) in the match, which comes out to roughly 4-5 times what you’ll see in a higher-level T20 cricket match elsewhere. But in watching the match, although they lost (and handily) to the Americans, it was clear that all of these women were much better cricket players than I ever could be, and it also made me think of how hard a time I had at bowling slowly and in a straight line to my daughter when we play at the park (ignoring completely, of course, whether or not my arm was properly straightened when doing so).

Which is important, because while watching sport is often about seeing the best of the best perform at the highest possible level, that’s not something required to enjoy the sport. And what’s the purpose of all this if it isn’t to enjoy things, whether or not they end up being perfect. 

Wednesday at 12:00 ET
Soccer: AFC Champions League Two Semifinal - Al Nassar v. Al-Ahli
We have the second semifinal for the AFC’s secondary continental tournament (the equivalent of the UEFA Europa League). Due to all of that nonsense¹⁰ with Iran, this is being played as a one-leg match in Dubai. The winner will tentatively host (again, because of everything in Iran) Gamba Osaka of Japan in the Final. Also as a bonus, Cristiano Ronaldo will likely be featuring for Al Nassar.

Thursday at 18:00 ET
Bowling: PBA Tournament of Champions - First Round
The opening round of the PBA’s Tournament of Champions begins Thursday evening. This tournament is one of five majors on the PBA’s calendar, with the winner taking home $100,000. The Final will also be televised on The CW at 16:00 ET.

Friday at 22:00 ET
Rugby: Major League Rugby - Seattle Seawolves v. Chicago Hounds
America’s own, Major League Rugby, continues the  2026 season as the Seattle Seawolves host the Chicago Hounds in week 5 action. There’s no easy way to put it - this league is STRUGGLING, but it is certainly a fun league (and sport!) to watch. Definitely give this a watch - and if you enjoy it, the entire season will be streamed on ESPN+ (with a few also making it to ESPN2).

Saturday at 19:30 ET
Lacrosse: National Lacrosse League Quarterfinals - Georgia Swarm v. Buffalo Bandits
The first weekend of the NLL playoffs are in full swing and Saturday night is packed with some great games (Vancouver v. Halifax is the lone game on Friday night). The three-time defending champion Buffalo Bandits travel to Georgia in what could easily be an all-time great game. Hopefully this prediction doesn’t backfire on me, but this should be the game of the weekend.

Sunday at 05:00 ET
Darts: PDC Nordic & Baltic Pro Tour - Event 6
The sixth event (of 12) on the PDC’s Nordic & Baltic affiliate tour. Cor Dekker has opened up a sizable lead on the Order of Merit, but the top performers after the final event will receive places at Alexandra Palace for the PDC World Championship in December. This will actually be a packed weekend as the qualifiers for Euro Tour events 7 and 8 will be played Friday and  Pro Tour Event 5 and the qualifier for Euro Tour event 9 on Saturday. You get all that?  Ok good - just watch a bunch of darts played in a small conference room in Finland. 

Monday at 08:00 ET
Darts: PDC Players Championship 11
Happy King’s Day! Celebrate this Dutch national holiday that is the opposite of Independence Day by watching some darts (in case the Nordic & Baltic stuff wasn’t enough). Get yourself some stroopwafel and bitterballen and wash it down with a Heineken or one of those European drinks that make it difficult to remove the bottle cap entirely

Tuesday at 10:00 ET
Cricket: IPL - Punjab Kings v. Rajasthan Royals
Of course we’re ending with cricket! However this is an especially solid match up as it sees 1st-place Punjab take on 3rd-place Rajasthan. This is of course subject to change between now and the start of the match, with Punjab playing on Saturday and Rajasthan playing on Wednesday AND Saturday (for a nice Saturday double header).